In Chapter 12 of The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I wrote that it’s “absolutely possible to have a better marriage, better friendships, and better business relationships,” and not just because the reader had bought my book. Pause for a moment and consider what better business relationships would look like for you. Now consider how your […]
When a circumstance in life isn’t working out the way you expected it to, or a relationship turns sour that you never thought would go bad, what do you feel before encountering that circumstance or relationship again? In The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I defined anxiety, in most cases, as “a refusal to accept life […]
In Chapter 11 of The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I share these seven steps to control your anxiety: 1. Notice your body and emotions (a.k.a. self-awareness). 2. Breathe deeply. 3. Control what you can control. 4. Surrender to what you can’t control. 5. Talk to yourself in a positive manner. 6. Do something life-giving in […]
If you’ve read The Stories We Tell Ourselves, or this blog for any length of time, you know that I tend to revisit the same themes on a consistent basis. That’s partly due to the fact that my clients tend to wrestle with the same issues over and over. It’s also why I wrote a […]
In Chapter 11 of The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I wrote, “Anxiety is a refusal to accept life the way that it is rather than the way we want it to be.” Do you agree with that statement? Think of a recent event where your anxiety noticeably increased. Maybe your boss has scheduled an unexpected […]
“I’m just . . . I don’t know. Frustrated.” I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard that expressed by my clients. That word—frustrated—reveals to me that they don’t know the real problem behind their problems. They’re frustrated because they want to see the circumstance or relationship change for the better but they don’t […]
In “The 90/10 Rule (Part 1),” I related that my dad would always tell me, “Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you react to it.” I agree with that statement, and it’s helped me immensely as a husband, father, counselor, family member, and friend. But since beginning my practice […]
When I was growing up, my dad told me, “Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you react to it.” What my dad was trying to tell me is that much of what happens to us in life is outside of my control, but the one thing I could control […]
In After the Fight, therapist Daniel B. Wile wrote, “Choosing a marriage partner is choosing a set of problems.” You don’t consciously think about this fact when you’re dating. You tend to see what you want to see. When your brain is flooded with intoxicating chemicals, your judgment can be clouded (about the other person), […]
In Chapter 10 of The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I wrote, “A spouse is a mirror who shows us characteristics of ourselves we would rather not see reflected back to us on a daily basis.” For instance, a wife may choose to react with an anger outburst, rather than talk calmly through conflict with her […]
Dr. R. Scott Gornto, PHD, MDIV, LMFT, EMDR holds a PhD in Psychotherapy, Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy and is a trained psychotherapist, counselor and peak performance coach. He is a Licensed Psychotherapist (Individual, Marriage and Family in Texas and Arizona), a EMDR Trained Trauma Therapist and has extensive training in the behavioral sciences and personal development. Dr. Scott is in private practice and has been practicing in North Texas since 1999. He works with individuals, couples, adolescents (12 yrs old and up), families, groups, entrepreneurs/leaders and businesses from Plano, Frisco, McKinney, Allen, Prosper and Dallas and the surrounding areas. Dr. Scott is the author of The Stories We Tell Ourselves™ and is a columnist for the Huffington Post and Psychology Today.