Happy New Year! This morning, Marriage365 shared: “Working on your marriage a little bit each day pays big dividends. The strongest couples, the happiest couples work on their marriage 365 days a year.” As you consider the New Year, what is one area of your marriage or relationship that you’d like to work on in 2019? A […]
relationships
7 Things You Never Knew About a Good Apology
“I’m sorry.” Those two words might be two of the most powerful words in the English language. Saying “I’m sorry” is hard. When we’ve done harm to a relationship, whether it be something minor or something serious, we have to hold within ourselves a decent amount of self-worth in order to accept responsibility for our […]
Marriage Moment: 5 Strategies for Balancing Togetherness and Individuality
Many of us enter marriage anticipating working together as a team. But, how do we work together with our spouse and maintain our own voice, opinions and perspectives. This certainly can be challenging for many couples…to find this balance of togetherness and individuality. Those first few years of marriage are often a time of discovery […]
4 Simple Steps To Transforming Your Relationships
For the last month, I’ve been blogging through the latter half of “Chapter 13: Toward More Connection and Fulfillment” in my book, The Stories We Tell Ourselves. That section covers the Auxano Communication Approach©, a four-step process I devised as a practicing therapist to help my clients grow their relationships in a healthy manner. While […]
Listen to Learn. Speak to be Known.
One of my favorite quotes about listening comes from therapist Suzanne Wallace Kaufman: “Listen to learn. Speak to be known.” When you incorporate these short, memorable commands into your daily conversations, you may witness a world of change take place in your relationships. Listening to learn means: putting aside the stories you’ve told yourself about […]
Why Your Relationships Need a Sliver of Space
After listing the four-step Auxano Communication Approach© in Chapter 13 of The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I discuss a notion within relationships I’ve termed “the sliver of space.” Webster’s defines “sliver” as “a small and narrow portion.” In other words, you don’t need much, but you do need some. As I wrote in my book, […]
The Auxano Approach to Communication: Step 2
As the second part of a four-part series, it’s imperative that you read “The Auxano Communication Approach: Step 1” before reading any further. This approach to strengthening relationships is a four-step process that requires you to progress from one step to the next. Now, the second step of the Auxano Communication Approach© is to invite […]
The Auxano Approach to Communication: Step 1
Over the course of the next two weeks, I’ll share each step of the Auxano Communication Approach© in its own post. The entire approach is detailed in Chapter 13 of my book, The Stories We Tell Ourselves. In my previous post, “Your Spouse is Not Your Nemesis,” I discussed how important it is to the […]
Your Spouse is Not Your Nemesis
In my counseling practice, I use a particular psychological approach that helps married couples in conflict learn how to work together against a problem instead of either spouse seeing the other as the problem—even if only one spouse is the major problem within the relationship. To do this, I encourage my clients to learn how […]
How Much Do Your Relationships Cost?
It’s a bit of a strange question. Try to take a step back from your closest relationship and view it as an outsider granted insider information. What would that outsider say in regard to how much that relationship costs you in time, money, effort, emotions, words, stress, or heartache? If this is your closest relationship, […]
