In Chapter 11 of The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I share these seven steps to control your anxiety: 1. Notice your body and emotions (a.k.a. self-awareness). 2. Breathe deeply. 3. Control what you can control. 4. Surrender to what you can’t control. 5. Talk to yourself in a positive manner. 6. Do something life-giving in […]
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Do You Accept Life the Way That It Is?
In Chapter 11 of The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I wrote, “Anxiety is a refusal to accept life the way that it is rather than the way we want it to be.” Do you agree with that statement? Think of a recent event where your anxiety noticeably increased. Maybe your boss has scheduled an unexpected […]
The #1 Reason You Get Frustrated
“I’m just . . . I don’t know. Frustrated.” I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard that expressed by my clients. That word—frustrated—reveals to me that they don’t know the real problem behind their problems. They’re frustrated because they want to see the circumstance or relationship change for the better but they don’t […]
The 90/10 Rule (Part 2)
In “The 90/10 Rule (Part 1),” I related that my dad would always tell me, “Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you react to it.” I agree with that statement, and it’s helped me immensely as a husband, father, counselor, family member, and friend. But since beginning my practice […]
The 90/10 Rule (Part 1)
When I was growing up, my dad told me, “Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you react to it.” What my dad was trying to tell me is that much of what happens to us in life is outside of my control, but the one thing I could control […]
