After listing the four-step Auxano Communication Approach© in Chapter 13 of The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I discuss a notion within relationships I’ve termed “the sliver of space.” Webster’s defines “sliver” as “a small and narrow portion.” In other words, you don’t need much, but you do need some. As I wrote in my book, […]
conflict
The Auxano Approach to Communication: Step 2
As the second part of a four-part series, it’s imperative that you read “The Auxano Communication Approach: Step 1” before reading any further. This approach to strengthening relationships is a four-step process that requires you to progress from one step to the next. Now, the second step of the Auxano Communication Approach© is to invite […]
The Auxano Approach to Communication: Step 1
Over the course of the next two weeks, I’ll share each step of the Auxano Communication Approach© in its own post. The entire approach is detailed in Chapter 13 of my book, The Stories We Tell Ourselves. In my previous post, “Your Spouse is Not Your Nemesis,” I discussed how important it is to the […]
Your Spouse is Not Your Nemesis
In my counseling practice, I use a particular psychological approach that helps married couples in conflict learn how to work together against a problem instead of either spouse seeing the other as the problem—even if only one spouse is the major problem within the relationship. To do this, I encourage my clients to learn how […]
The Most Important Thing in Life?
If relationships are often the key ingredient to anxiety in our lives, why should we even bother with pursuing them? Why should we worry ourselves about seeking to heal broken relationships? Wouldn’t it make more emotional sense to just distance ourselves from the other person? Wouldn’t that save everyone involved from more heartache and pain? […]
Own Your Role.
If you’ve read The Stories We Tell Ourselves, or this blog for any length of time, you know that I tend to revisit the same themes on a consistent basis. That’s partly due to the fact that my clients tend to wrestle with the same issues over and over. It’s also why I wrote a […]
Your Marriage, Your Problems
In After the Fight, therapist Daniel B. Wile wrote, “Choosing a marriage partner is choosing a set of problems.” You don’t consciously think about this fact when you’re dating. You tend to see what you want to see. When your brain is flooded with intoxicating chemicals, your judgment can be clouded (about the other person), […]
The Single Greatest Cause of Stress In Your Life.
“Scott, how in the world could you know the greatest stressor in my life?” I know. It’s presumptuous. But because of my job, I listen to hundreds of men and women tell me about what’s weighing them down and preventing them from experiencing the kinds of fulfilling lives they desire. When you begin to look […]
