In the next to last chapter of The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I wrote, “The reason we want to become people of presence is that it greatly increases our chances for connection, and there is nothing our souls crave more than a meaningful connection with another person.” You may not consciously believe that, but deep […]
Blogs
A Timeless Tip for Better Presence
According to a 2015 study performed by Nottingham Trent University, 18- to 33-year-olds in England look at their phones an average of 85 times per day, or about one-third of their waking time. The study asked participants to guess how often they looked at their phones, and then each participant’s phone had an app installed […]
Where Are You on the Continuum of Presence?
I find it helpful to visualize continuums for certain aspects of my life that I’d like to see change for the better. I present these continuums to my clients as well, and I’ve seen these continuums be helpful tools for them to assess themselves and figure out where they are and where they hope to […]
Are You a Person of Presence?
Recently on my blog, I discussed how you can become more present within your relationships. I suggested how you can increase your neuroplasticity to help train your brain to be more present. I gave one quick yet effective tip for increasing your self-awareness while in conversation with another person. And finally I provided a way […]
How to Stop Your Mental Time Traveling
Much too often, we mentally fight against wave after wave of coulda, woulda, shouldas: I could have done more. I would have made a different choice. I should have known better. Or we look to the future and ask the positive what-ifs (What if that promotion comes through?) and the anxious what-ifs (What if she […]
One Quick and Effective Tip for Better Presence
Do you ever find yourself experiencing any of these physical reactions when in conversation with another person? Quick, shallow breathing Increased heart rate Wandering eye contact Clenching your jaw Grinding your teeth Taking a step back All of these actions—which we often don’t even notice we’re doing—are sure signs that you’re not being present in […]
For Better Relationships, Increase Your Neuroplasticity
Neuroplasticity is defined as “the potential that the brain has to reorganize by creating new neural pathways to adapt, as it needs. Think of the neurological changes being made in the brain as the brain’s way of tuning itself to meet your needs.” WhatIsNeuroplasticity.com I hope those last few words catch your attention. What are […]
Be Present When You’re Present
Over the last few weeks I’ve discussed how important it is to be aware of ourselves within our relationships, and especially when talking with someone else. We must learn how to be increasingly aware of our bodies, minds, and emotions as we react to others. More often than not, the hardest part about becoming aware […]
Where Are You Most Aware?
At any moment in life, we have the ability to focus our brains and become aware of our body, mind, and/or emotions. Therapist and author Rick Carson describes this as “zones of awareness.” Depending on your DNA and upbringing, you may lean toward being aware of only one of those zones at a time. Just […]
Where Are You on the Continuum of Awareness?
Learning how to be aware of your internal and external responses within any given relationship is an essential aspect of being present. But like most skills—and especially those connected to our well-being—practice makes perfect. Well, not perfect, but certainly better. When I’m discussing how my clients can be more present in their relationships, I talk […]