Greetings from Dallas, Texas. My name is R. Scott Gornto and I am a therapist, speaker and author of my upcoming book, The Story We Tell Ourselves.
I want to thank Elizabeth Oates for tagging me in the blog tour. I have know Elizabeth for years now. We co-lead a divorce care group for adolescents at Park Cities Baptist Church many years ago. She is a wonderful author and speaker. Check out her work.
What are you working on?
- My Counseling Private Practice – Auxano Counseling in Plano, Texas.
- My first book The Stories We Tell Ourselves, due to be released October 21st, 2014.
- My abstract art – gorntoart.com
Here is a brief piece about my upcoming book:
CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS. CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
Do you find yourself filling in the blank when you don’t have all the answers in a situation?
Are the stories you make up in your mind about another’s behavior based in facts or fiction?
When our brains don’t have all the information in a situation, our imagination has a tendency to fill in the blanks with a variety of stories and outcomes. For most of us, these stories tend to be fictional and false, not grounded in reality. This can lead to anxiety, isolation and problems in relationships. Over the past 15 years, Scott has worked with Individuals and Couples helping them become aware of these inner narratives and offering strategies to overcome false beliefs and replacing them with truth.
DO YOU MAKE UP FICTIONAL STORIES WHEN……
…..You interviewed for the job of your dreams and after waiting a week for a response – you still haven’t heard back.
…..Your husband has been has been out until 1am with friends for two nights this week.
…..Your biggest client hasn’t returned your call
…..Your 15 year old daughter is out with her boyfriend and is 45 minutes past her curfew
…..You meet someone for the first time
We tell ourselves stories to make sense out of the world around us. When we don’t understand another person’s thoughts or motives, we construct narratives to explain their actions, and they become characters in movies we direct and play in our own minds. These inner dramas can be more appealing and compelling than the real world, and we can lose the capability to genuinely listen to and engage the actual people in our lives. The solution is to cultivate patience and presence; patience to live with what we can’t know, and the presence to encounter people and situations as they really are, in the here and now.
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CHOOSE TO STOP TELLING YOURSELF STORIES
Follow Scott on Twitter @Gornto
Like Scott Facebook at www.facebook.com/rscottgornto
To receive tips and strategies from the book
How does your work differ from others of its genre?
My book, The Stories We Tell Ourselves, focuses primarily on how we create inner narratives when we don’t have all the info in relationships. After 15 years of therapy with clients and research, I wrote this book for others (and myself) to becoming more aware of our own assumptions in relationships, how to stop those assumptions and how to live a life of presence with others. For years, I have told myself stories in my marriage, friendships, business relationships, etc. – when I didn’t have the intel in a situation. Writing this book has helped me strengthen my own skill of noticing and being present. Hopefully, it will be a help to you.
Why do you write what you do?
I love helpful people. I hope this book will help others reduce their inner narratives, thus reducing personal anxiety – and increases their own skills of awareness and being present with others.
How does your writing process work?
I’m a verbal processor. I work best when I can speak my thoughts out loud and record them. From there – I will do some writing with the help of my team of editors and proofreaders. I have been working on my book, over the last couple of years, in my spare time when I am not seeing clients, running my practice, being with my wife and boys or painting.
Next up . . .
Next week we will hear from:
Rhett Smith ….from Rhett’s bio….I am a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), writer and speaker with over 18 years of coming alongside people and helping them in the contexts of church, community mental health and private practice. I am currently in private practice in Plano, Texas and I also serve on staff as a therapist for The Hideaway Experience marriage intensives in Amarillo, TX. Prior to becoming a full-time therapist I was a college pastor at Bel Air Presbyterian Church in Los Angeles serving primarily on the campuses of UCLA, USC, LMU and with a large number of young adults from the entertainment community in and around Los Angeles. And I spent three years serving on staff at Highland Park Presbyterian Church in Dallas, TX where I was primarily responsible to care for the youth staff, provide crisis counseling for students and families in the youth department, and teach bi-monthly parenting classes for parents of youth. In my practice I work with a wide variety of people, but I most frequently work with couples who are struggling with relational issues, men who find themselves stuck in life (one of the reasons I wrote What it Means to be a Man: God’s Design for Us in a World Full of Extremes, and families who are struggling with relational issues and transitions in school and at home.
Cory Montfort She earned her Bachelor’s degree in Education with a minor in Psychology from Liberty University in 1999. She taught for several years in both elementary and middle school settings. Then she completed my Masters in Counseling from Southern Methodist University where she specialized in working with individuals, couples, and families. She has extensive experience working within the mental health community facilitating groups, conducting assessments, counseling individuals, and performing crisis intervention. Additionally, she founded Girl Talk, where groups of girls come together to be encouraged, educated, and empowered. They tackle the subtle and not-so-subtle ways our society dictates “beauty” and she helps them discover what is realistic and what is healthy.
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