We Need To Talk.

“We need to talk.”

I’m not sure if there are any other four-word combinations that are as capable as that phrase in instilling fear into the hearts and minds of both men and women.

Whether it’s a spouse, friend, boss or co-worker, we don’t want to hear those four words strung together and spoken in our direction. When we hear them, we strain to understand the body language and tonal inflection of the sentence: 

• Why did they say it so seriously?
• Wait, was that sarcasm?
• Which part of that sentence did they stress? We? Need? To? Talk?
• Why did they text me that?

But just as soon as you’re done assessing what they might actually mean, their (maybe innocent) statement suddenly increases anxiety:

• What in the world did I do wrong?
• What happened between us recently that requires a talk?
• What’s going to happen when we talk?

Dozens of questions flood our minds, and few of them are actually helpful. 

We make “We need to talk” monumentally worse on ourselves and our relationships when we think we know what that talk will be. Instead of fearing the unknown, choose to not let the made-up stories you tell yourself wreak havoc on your relationship. Grant the other person the same level of respect you would want them to grant you in a reversed situation.

When you hear, “We need to talk,” choose to believe the fact of that statement and not your own unfounded expectations of what that could mean.