Sometimes, even the word itself can cause people stress. That word may bring to mind all the things in your life that are currently stressing you out:
* How will I get my kids to all of their games this weekend?
*How will we afford that vacation?
*Did I return that call at the office?
*I’ll never get through my email.
But the surprising thing about stress is that it’s most often not caused by what we believe is stressing us out. Certainly, these issues can cause stress on their own, but the real reason for our stress is most often the impact these circumstances could have on our relationships:
- You want your kids to trust and love you.
- You want your spouse to be happy.
- You want your boss to keep employing you.
- You want your co-workers to respect you.
We don’t consciously think this way when we think about our stressors, but I believe that’s why we tend to suffer from a low-lying, ever-present heaviness of the shoulders. We fear letting others down, but we’re never going to say that out loud, so we just try to do our best.
The next time you’re experiencing stress about a certain situation, consider the possible relational reason you may actually be stressing about. Then ask yourself whether you’re telling yourself a made-up story about that person’s role in your life and in that circumstance. If so, seek to know the reality of the situation before allowing it to balloon into something that will cause you deep anxiety.
If the main source of your stress if relationships, let’s learn how to get better at relationships.
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