The Key to Better Relationships

In Chapter 12 of The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I wrote that it’s “absolutely possible to have a better marriage, better friendships, and better business relationships,” and not just because the reader had bought my book.

Pause for a moment and consider what better business relationships would look like for you. 

Now consider how your friendships could be better. 

Now, if applicable, think about your marriage or dating relationship.

If you’re human, all of your relationships likely have room for improvement. Sure, a few of them may be firing on all cylinders, but that kind of smooth ride may only last for a season. And as some relationships falter, others grow stronger. That’s just the ebb and flow of being an imperfect human.

But when you think about how your relationships could be better, who are you thinking about? Are you thinking about what the other person could do to make the relationship better? Or about what you can do?

Allow me to complete the quote from my book: “It is absolutely possible to have a better marriage, better friendships, and better business relationships, but the cost of such a reward is high because the vast majority of the work has to be done by you.”

I’m reminded of a famous Tolstoy quote: “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

The key to better relationships is simple: work on yourself before working on the relationship.

Today, think of changing yourself so that tomorrow you can witness better relationships in every sphere of your life.