It’s ironic that a season described as joyful and merry so often brings with it an increased amount of stress.
I’ve got to get all my shopping done on Black Friday or it’s never going to happen.
I’ve got to get all my work done by the third week of December because we’re taking that three-week vacation and I don’t want to think about work then.
We have to visit all of the grandparents’ and cousins’ houses this Christmas!?
At the core of most of our holiday stressors are relationships. You buy presents because you want the people in your life to receive some happiness on your behalf. You get work done early so you can spend quality time with your family and friends. You visit every last one of your extended family members because you want to make sure they’re happy too.
Much of what we do around Christmas and New Years seems fixated upon lessening our relational stressors while increasing our personal anxiety.
In other words, we tend to stress ourselves out so that we don’t stress out others. But what can we do to stay sane during the holidays and still not disappoint grandpa and grandma?
In Chapter 11 of The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I wrote, “A major part of resolving relational stress is simply noticing and being aware of where that stress originates.” That means taking a moment to assess your current stress level.
What activities are adding stress to your life right now?
When you read the word “stress,” what, or who, immediately comes to mind?
When you have those people or experiences in mind, ask yourself, “What relational issue is this really about?”
Often, what we’re stressed about isn’t what we’re really stressed about. It takes hard work and practice to discover the real origins of your stress, but knowing where your stress is actually stemming from will help you deal with it in a mature and adult manner.
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