The holidays have a way of reminding us of the loved one’s that have passed. The “merry and bright” holiday spirit doesn’t necessary aline with grief. Even if people aren’t necessarily happy within, they at least put on a smile because the season demands it, which makes it seem to those who grieve a […]
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Holiday Stress (and What You Can Do to Overcome It)
It’s ironic that a season described as joyful and merry so often brings with it an increased amount of stress. I’ve got to get all my shopping done on Black Friday or it’s never going to happen. I’ve got to get all my work done by the third week of December because we’re taking that […]
Why the Holidays Don’t Have to Be So Hard.
Just the prospect of having to spend time with that family member over the holidays fills some of you with dread—so much so that you’re considering “having other plans” in order to not attend your family gathering this Christmas. But it doesn’t have to be that way, even with under-the-surface conflict that may be many […]
How Past Pain Can Present Present Problems.
When you’ve suffered a scar—whether that’s a physical, emotional, or relational wound—you’re naturally not going to want to place yourself in the same kind of situation to where you’d get hurt again. Your fight-or-flight response kicks in, and if given the option, you’ll fly away from the person or circumstance that may try to hurt […]
The Power of One Call.
Sometimes, answering a phone call can be painful. You learn of a loved one’s passing. Your child didn’t get accepted into the college of their choice. You receive confirmation that your company is downsizing. Live long enough and you’re bound to get calls like these. It’s a part of being human and living in a […]
Stories in the Dark (Part 2)
The stories we tell ourselves are comprised of a wide variety of scripts we’ve picked up along the pathways of our lives, from what we learn from our parents to what we see on TV and in the movies. For Steve and Lauren, part of the stories they’d been telling themselves involved what they had […]
Stories in the Dark (Part 1)
In The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I share fictional stories throughout the book based on a made-up couple, Steve and Lauren. However, these stories are based on reality and the hundreds of clients I’ve seen and counseled over the last decade. In Chapter 7, “Stories in the Dark,” I describe how Steve grew up watching […]
The Loglines of Our Lives
When screenwriters compose a script, they also have to formulate what’s known as a logline, a one-sentence description of the entire movie. In The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I presented this list of loglines from the Internet Movie Database. See if you can guess each film: “Two imprisoned men bond over a number of years, […]
The Netflix Effect
Netflix’s company profile begins by touting its impressive numbers: “Netflix is the world’s leading Internet television network with over 69 million members in over 60 countries enjoying more than 100 million hours of TV shows and movies per day ….” Let me put that last number into perspective for you. 100 million hours equals almost […]
The Stories We Show Ourselves.
Throughout the last month, I focused on the stories we tell ourselves based on who raised us and the scripts we picked up from their words and actions (or non-actions, as the case may be). Let’s shift gears now and discuss another source for the scripts we use to navigate the world: actual scripts. What […]
