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Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship. But what sets the great relationships apart from even the good relationships is the couple’s ability to handle conflict in a healthy manner. Essentially, this means that each couple understands that they’ve likely been telling themselves a made-up story about the other person that doesn’t reflect the […]

Last week, I wrote about how in life…shift happens. Life events, whether good or bad, can change your trajectory in a second. They can significantly alter your moods, heighten your anxiety, or even give you what you always wanted. Such shifts force you to change your perspective on the world around you. But what if […]

I’m committed to helping my clients bring out the best in themselves. After working with clients over the past fifteen years, I’ve come to believe that there are three specific areas in your life that can help you bring out the best in yourself. 1. Take care of yourself. You may be all too aware […]

“Sometimes we choose the shift, and sometimes the shift chooses us.” I wrote that in Chapter 9 of The Stories We Tell Ourselves. What it means is that life happens. Sometimes we can be sailing as smoothly as ever, but then a typhoon appears without a moment’s notice. A car wreck. A layoff. A divorce. […]

In Chapter 8, “The Pain of the Past,” of The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I wrote, “Devastating pain cannot be digested all at once. It must be dealt with bite by bite.” I use this kind of phrasing with my clients who have experienced deep pain and feel like they just keep re-living it over […]

When someone refuses to digest the pain of their past, they’ll inevitably come to an emotional fork in the road. One way leads to “acting in,” the other to “acting out.” Neither option is ultimately healthy. Characteristics of “acting in” include: Depression Withdrawal Apathy Laziness Above all, “acting in” results in allowing the negative voices […]

Since releasing my first book in October of 2014, I’ve been blogging through many of the main concepts of The Stories We Tell Ourselves. If you’ve enjoyed any of these posts, I encourage you to purchase a copy and really delve into what has been so transformative for my life and in the lives of […]

2016 has started, it’s always beneficial to take inventory of how we’ve done in the various relational spheres of our lives. Overall, some years will be better than others. Some spheres may outperform others. But the key is to understand that we all have room for improvement in every relational sphere of our lives. And […]

As we start 2016, many of us are prone to look back and take stock of how last year went. We celebrate our successes and reconsider how to overcome those areas where we feel lacking. For some, maybe your marriage became more of a burden and less of a joy. Maybe you or your spouse […]

Here’s a relationship challenge for you this Christmas: Be intentional with your time. While you should certainly take time to rest, I challenge you to make time for the other people in your life—and especially those family and friends whom you see just a few times a year. We rush to get ready for being […]