“My spouse just told me, ‘We need to talk,’ so that must mean he or she is __________.” Now, ask yourself why you chose that particular word to fill in the blank. Were you quick to complete the sentence, or did you carefully consider what could be behind those vague words? Did you think about […]
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A Defensive Self-Assessment
We all build protective walls around ourselves, but some of us are much better wall-builders than others. Some erect walls so thick that no one can get in—or out. But this kind of defensiveness leads to loneliness, and loneliness ultimately kills the soul. (Watch the film Murder in the First for a solid illustration of that fact.) But […]
Rifling Through Your Mental Filing Cabinet
Stop Making Yourself Miserable.
In the second chapter of The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I tell five client stories about how they made themselves miserable because of the lies they were (intentionally and unintentionally) telling themselves about their close relationships. You may have been there too: “She’ll never forgive me.” “My dad doesn’t want to see me.” “I’m not […]