I remember the first time I went scuba diving. Though gearing up for the dive took some time, as soon as I plunged into the ocean, I knew the wait was worth the payoff. As the cool water engulfed me, I witnessed a very different and captivating world. At forty feet below surface level, I […]
Whether you believe it or not, your earliest experiences as a child still affect you today. That’s one of the reasons why so many therapists want to talk about your childhood and the people who raised you. How they treated you then has a direct impact on how you perceive and react to the world […]
As humans, we are innately safety-conscious. Even a child who touches a hot stove knows not to make that mistake again. When presented with a life-threatening situation, our fight-or-flight responses kick in whether we want them to or not. Our bodies and minds want to keep our bodies and minds safe. This isn’t a bad […]
It’s not uncommon for children to have imaginary friends. You may even still recall the name of your own childhood made-up friend, or your child might be in that phase right now. But if a grown adult admitted to having an imaginary friend, I imagine most people would think that person is off-kilter. But every […]
“We need to talk.” I’m not sure if there are any other four-word combinations that are as capable as that phrase in instilling fear into the hearts and minds of both men and women. Whether it’s a spouse, friend, boss or co-worker, we don’t want to hear those four words strung together and spoken in […]
“My spouse just told me, ‘We need to talk,’ so that must mean he or she is __________.” Now, ask yourself why you chose that particular word to fill in the blank. Were you quick to complete the sentence, or did you carefully consider what could be behind those vague words? Did you think about […]
We all build protective walls around ourselves, but some of us are much better wall-builders than others. Some erect walls so thick that no one can get in—or out. But this kind of defensiveness leads to loneliness, and loneliness ultimately kills the soul. (Watch the film Murder in the First for a solid illustration of that fact.) But […]
I believe that every one of us file away dozens of stories in our minds every day. We don’t do this intentionally. It just happens. Whether the story is from a movie you just watched or an experience you just had, you place these stories in a mental filing cabinet. But the tabs on these […]
In the second chapter of The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I tell five client stories about how they made themselves miserable because of the lies they were (intentionally and unintentionally) telling themselves about their close relationships. You may have been there too: “She’ll never forgive me.” “My dad doesn’t want to see me.” “I’m not […]
Even if you’re not a writer, you’re an incredible fiction author. Don’t believe me? Think about a relationship that’s stressing you out right now. You know you need to talk to that person, but you also know it’s not going to be fun. And because of that, you’ve likely tried to play out in your […]
Dr. R. Scott Gornto, PHD, MDIV, LMFT, EMDR holds a PhD in Psychotherapy, Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy and is a trained psychotherapist, counselor and peak performance coach. He is a Licensed Psychotherapist (Individual, Marriage and Family in Texas and Arizona), a EMDR Trained Trauma Therapist and has extensive training in the behavioral sciences and personal development. Dr. Gornto is in private practice and has been practicing in North Texas since 1999. He works with individuals, couples, adolescents (12 yrs old and up), families, groups, entrepreneurs/leaders and businesses from Plano, Frisco, McKinney, Allen, Prosper and Dallas and the surrounding areas. Dr. Gornto is the author of The Stories We Tell Ourselves™ and is a columnist for the Huffington Post and Psychology Today.