Blog

2016 has started, it’s always beneficial to take inventory of how we’ve done in the various relational spheres of our lives. Overall, some years will be better than others. Some spheres may outperform others. But the key is to understand that we all have room for improvement in every relational sphere of our lives. And […]

As we start 2016, many of us are prone to look back and take stock of how last year went. We celebrate our successes and reconsider how to overcome those areas where we feel lacking. For some, maybe your marriage became more of a burden and less of a joy. Maybe you or your spouse […]

Here’s a relationship challenge for you this Christmas: Be intentional with your time. While you should certainly take time to rest, I challenge you to make time for the other people in your life—and especially those family and friends whom you see just a few times a year. We rush to get ready for being […]

The holidays have a way of reminding us of the loved one’s that have passed.   The “merry and bright” holiday spirit doesn’t necessary aline with grief. Even if people aren’t necessarily happy within, they at least put on a smile because the season demands it, which makes it seem to those who grieve a […]

It’s ironic that a season described as joyful and merry so often brings with it an increased amount of stress. I’ve got to get all my shopping done on Black Friday or it’s never going to happen. I’ve got to get all my work done by the third week of December because we’re taking that […]

Just the prospect of having to spend time with that family member over the holidays fills some of you with dread—so much so that you’re considering “having other plans” in order to not attend your family gathering this Christmas. But it doesn’t have to be that way, even with under-the-surface conflict that may be many […]

When you’ve suffered a scar—whether that’s a physical, emotional, or relational wound—you’re naturally not going to want to place yourself in the same kind of situation to where you’d get hurt again. Your fight-or-flight response kicks in, and if given the option, you’ll fly away from the person or circumstance that may try to hurt […]

Sometimes, answering a phone call can be painful.  You learn of a loved one’s passing. Your child didn’t get accepted into the college of their choice. You receive confirmation that your company is downsizing. Live long enough and you’re bound to get calls like these. It’s a part of being human and living in a […]

The stories we tell ourselves are comprised of a wide variety of scripts we’ve picked up along the pathways of our lives, from what we learn from our parents to what we see on TV and in the movies. For Steve and Lauren, part of the stories they’d been telling themselves involved what they had […]

In The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I share fictional stories throughout the book based on a made-up couple, Steve and Lauren. However, these stories are based on reality and the hundreds of clients I’ve seen and counseled over the last decade. In Chapter 7, “Stories in the Dark,” I describe how Steve grew up watching […]