“The stories we tell ourselves about other people can be like wrapping a warm blanket around our scarred, scared heart.”
That particular line from the fifth chapter of my book, The Stories We Tell Ourselves, encapsulates so much of why I believe we use imaginary stories to pacify ourselves. Our made-up stories about others help us feel safe—about ourselves, about our unknown future, and about our place in the world.
When we have scant information about a concerning relationship or life circumstance, we fill in the blanks based on past “scripts” from our life. These scripts are based on how you were raised, what you watch on TV, and past pain, to name a few inciting incidents.
In other words, we tend to look to the past to try make sense of the future.
We do this so we can wrap “a warm blanket” over a heart that may have been hurt one too many times already. And while this is a natural inclination for a child, an emotionally mature adult shouldn’t need such protection.
Growing up means becoming vulnerable.
Growing up means coming to grips with how you’ve been hurt.
Growing up means learning how your primary caregivers (i.e. the person or people that raised you) may have negatively affected how you approach life (even if they were stellar caregivers).
Growing up means telling the truth instead of telling stories.
Growing up means shedding your security blanket.
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