When it comes to your relationships, the fact is you don’t have all the facts.
In fact, you rarely have enough facts to really know the facts.
And to put it as matter-of-factly as I can, your lack of facts makes you a better fiction author than friend or spouse.
When you lack knowledge—especially about a person or situation that’s been making you anxious—you make up stories. You write scripts about how other people might respond to you so you can be prepared with just the right answer.
But more often than not, these scripts stress you out. Then the other person fails to play the role you’ve already cast them in. The gall.
They forgive you when you expected anger.
They get upset when you expected understanding.
You can’t let your lack of facts always lead your conversations. You can’t keep making up stories—hoping for the best or fearing the worst—about the people in your life.
In your relationships, you can’t be a subpar journalist. You must discover as many facts as you can, which requires hard work, honest conversations, and challenging questions open to any reply.
The fact is, we all need to become better fact-checkers than storytellers.
Leave a Reply