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Giving Too Much Power Mentally To Things We Can’t Control

October 7, 2020 by Dr. R. Scott Gornto Leave a Comment

Have you ever thought about how much time you mentally dedicate to things you can’t control? There is much we can’t control in this life – from daily annoyances to major tragedies. We can’t control how people behave. We can’t control if a relative gets cancer. We can’t control our own spouses and children. We can’t control what others think, say, or do. We can’t control what others think of us. We can’t control Mother Nature or today’s traffic.

And we spend a lot of emotional energy on reacting to all the things we can’t control. In doing so, we relinquish a lot of our individual power because we are reacting instead of responding proactively.

Additionally, we have to stop giving our power away, focus on what we CAN control, and take action. We must release what we cannot control.

*This requires that we give ourselves permission to feel how we need to feel about circumstances and relationships that let us down.

*We have to be honest with ourselves whenthe world around us is disappointing in order to heal.

There is a lot of trauma in the world and avoiding the painful feelings we experience will not make it go away.

Once we honor our feelings, we also have to find a way to move forward. Fixating on the “why”, can sometimes keep us stuck. Oftentimes, there won’t be an answer for circumstances that our out of our control. There will always be unanswered questions and we may have to learn to live with those. This can be really challenging for many of us.

Control is often a result of being attached to a specific outcome – we often feel sure we know what is best for us.

If we can trust that we will be okay no matter what circumstances come our way, we can release some of that control and stop micromanaging the world around us. We let go. And we may just open ourselves up to the beauty of surrendering. You’ll be amazed how much more you can accomplish when you release the energy of control and step into a more calm, peaceful surrender.

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About Dr. R. Scott Gornto


Dr. R. Scott Gornto, PHD, MDIV, LMFT, EMDR holds a PHD in Individual, Marriage and Family Therapy. He is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a EMDR Trained Trauma Therapist, and has extensive training in the Behavioral Sciences and Personal Development. Dr. Gornto is in private practice and has been practicing in North Texas since 1999. He works with individuals, couples, adolescents (12 yrs old and up), families, groups, entrepreneurs/leaders and businesses from Plano, Frisco, McKinney, Allen, Prosper and Dallas and the surrounding areas. Dr. Gornto is the author of The Stories We Tell Ourselves™ and is a columnist for the Huffington Post and Psychology Today.

 

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Dr. R. Scott Gornto, PHD, MDIV, LMFT, EMDR holds a PHD in Individual, Marriage and Family Therapy. He is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a EMDR Trained Trauma Therapist, and has extensive training in the Behavioral Sciences and Personal Development. Dr. Gornto is in private practice and has been practicing in North Texas since 1999. He works with individuals, couples, adolescents (12 yrs old and up), families, groups, entrepreneurs/leaders and businesses from Plano, Frisco, McKinney, Allen, Prosper and Dallas and the surrounding areas. Dr. Gornto is the author of The Stories We Tell Ourselves™ and is a columnist for the Huffington Post and Psychology Today.

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